That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
