If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
