The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
