I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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