dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
