I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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