so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
