Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
