I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
