that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
