K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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