I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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