i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize