My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My pussy is not your playground.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
