And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize