the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
