it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We don't watch enough power rangers
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
