wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
