Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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