BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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