Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize