you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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