Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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