If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
