Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This is my gift to your gina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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