is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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