I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
