I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
