Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
