Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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