were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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