found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
please come you make the beer taste better
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
