I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
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