maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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