People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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