the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
