Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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