You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
