If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
