My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
