I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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