you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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