were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
