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We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
