god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
