she was so not down for the gang bang
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
These tits shall not be calmed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
