New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
