Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
