If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
