Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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