I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
that is very illegal...i love you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
