You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
