Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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