So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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