I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
