well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
