I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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