i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Even my vagina gasped.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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