Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize