woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize