I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
