she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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