You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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