i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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